Parenting Philosophy & Principles

Don't raise voice
Don't discipline in anger
Loving them means being consistent and not enabling sin
Teach sign language to help them communicate before they can form words
Require first time obedience
Delayed obedience is disobedience
Think in multiples
Sharing: how does it work in the real world?
http://thewardrobedoor.com/2014/11/parenting-sanctification-reputation-mind.html
The best way to love my children is to love God and my husband
My example will have a much greater impact than any words I say

Parenting Resources

All Ages

Paul Tripp - Parenting Conference Notes
Centrality of the Home

Breastfeeding: Troubleshooting

Increasing Supply

• GET ENOUGH SLEEP
• STAY HYDRATED
• Fenugreek (take slowly because don't want oversupply which can lead to clogged milk ducts)
• Be cautious with exercising. Exercising can make you more tired which can affect supply. Running especially can cause problems because it can cause milk to be frothy making it hard on baby's tummy and harder for baby to get enough milk.
• Seek to relax. Stress is not helpful.

 Round Two

• Oatmeal: 1 cup steel oats to 4 cups water or milk
• Recipe: Bring two cups milk and six cups water to a boil.  Watch it closely so it doesn't boil over.  Reduce to medium and add two cups steel oats, two apples (peeled and diced) and a carrot (shredded using a grater).  Stir frequently until the liquid is absorbed (normally takes 20-30 minutes).  Once done add two teaspoons vanilla, almonds and any other fruit that sounds good (strawberries are specially good).

Sore Nipples

• Use lanolin!  Especially the first month.
• Express a little breast milk to rub over nipples at the completion of each nursing session then allow to air dry for a few minutes.
• Make sure you are changing out your nursing pads frequently enough to breasts dry.

Engorgement

• Hot showers and/or warm compresses on boobs. 
• Use hand to express a little milk to relieve some of the pressure.  How to Hand Express Breastmilk: Has diagram and written out description with link to video.
• Don't pump because it will increase milk supply.
• Watch out for clogged ducts!
• Round Two: Way less of a problem than round one.

Clogged Ducts

• If boobs are achy and are past the initial engorgement a clogged duct could be starting.  Use a hot compress on it and massage tender area with fingers to try to push it down towards nipple.
• If feel knot/marble can do as already mentioned or try putting an ice pack on it to freeze and crack the knots.
• Pumping can be helpful to try to pull it out but be careful not to pump too much extra or it will encourage milk supply increase which will in turn exasperate the problem.
• ONLY THING THAT WORKED: If can handle the pain the strength of the baby sucking to nurse is the most effective way to pull the clog out.  Lay baby on back with face up to nurse.  Get on hands and knees straddling on top of the baby and then have baby nurse from clogged boob (gravity helps).  Super painful and you feel like an idiot but it works!

Breastfeeding: Nursing Supplies

Boppy

• Don't Buy Used
• Barely used for nursing in both round one and two.
• Per lactation consultant: the bigger chested you are the more useful it is to help prop the baby.

Breastmilk Storage Bags

• Best Deal I've Found

Burp Cloths

• Can't ever have too many :)
• Prefold cotton cloth diapers seem to work best.
• Tutorial 1 on how to make prefolds into pretty burp cloths.
• Tutorial 2 that is supposed to be best for babies with acid reflux.

Nursing Bras/Camis

• No underwire!  Underwire can encourage infection and clogs.
• Removable foam cups for lining and modesty are helpful.
• Have a minimum of two bras for the day.
• Night time bras are ok once supply figures itself out.
• Best Nursing Bra Ever :)
• DIY Nursing Cami  Liked but ends up being lower cut than I would like so can't really wear as undershirt.  Great to keep rest of me covered when out nursing.  Use camis that don't have shelf lining.

Nursing Cover

• DIY Instructions
• Super important to have the stiff neckline!
• Consider making one out of the muslin swaddle blankets to make it more breathable.

Nursing Pads

• Went through super quickly!
• Really liked these!
• If don't change out fast enough they'll start to smell bad and the smell passes onto nursing bra.
• Make sure you change out the trash frequently because rotting milk smells horrendous.
• Make cloth nursing pads next round with baby once milk supply settles in... 1) DIY Contoured Nursing Pads  2) Second Tutorial  3) Third Tutorial

Tracking All Things Nursing Related

• Baby Feeding Log App  Available to time each feeding, keep track of what side nursing on, bowel movements and sleep times.  Personally found it to be overwhelming so would just do ten seconds for breastfeeding on time so it would remind me when to next nurse at the three hour mark.
• Round Two: Used this for the first six weeks or so because you can set a timer.  Next round will probably just use my timer on my phone because the app timer silences pretty quickly.
• Used to keep track of bowel movements only and made sure diapers were regularly wet.
• Bowel movements are especially important because they prove the baby is receiving nutrients.
• Also used to keep track of baths and had reminder go off every two days but needed to bathe every three days at latest.
• LactMed App to use as a reference next baby.  Allows you to look up drug and see possible side effects with breastfeeding.
• Cute ways to remember which side you last nursed on: Mammary Minders or DIY Ribbon Reminder
• Never ended up making and using.

Breastfeeding: The Basics

ANY PROBLEMS GET A LACTATION CONSULTANT!

• Breastfeeding initially hurts, is exhausting, exasperating and rewarding.
• Nurse one side per feeding to bring in the richer milk.
• You need way more nursing pads than you ever would have thought.
• Make sure to burp between and after feedings.  Initially took 1/2 hour for Baby C to burp.
• Felt completely parched every time Baby C latched.
• Nursing Checklist: 1-2 burp cloths, water bottle, and pillow/boppy
• Skin to skin with nursing is great.
• Do your best to be rested and hydrated.

LATCHING

Tickle side of baby's mouth to encourage the baby to open it wide.  If baby latches onto tip of nipple break the latch immediately!  It will hurt like crazy.  Have baby come towards nipple from below nipple, angled up and want it to basically swallow the entire nipple.  Support breast with one hand to help scoop it upwards to angle nipple up so baby can open and swallow coming down onto it.

• Latching Diagram 1
• Latching Diagram 2
• Latching Diagram 3

Breaking the Latch

DON'T pull the baby away without breaking latch using your finger.  Insert finger into the side of baby's mouth and slide up and down to break the latch before removing baby.  Do a sort of hooking motion with finger to break the latch.

• Break the Latch Diagram

POSITIONS

• Positions Diagram

NURSING RESOURCES

• The Nursing Mother's Companion
• Baby at Your Breast: The Basics
• Breast Feeding Support Groups are available at most of the hospitals (under Events & Classes)

HOW TO STORE BREASTMILK

• Most Helpful Link

Giving Birth: Postpartum

A Few Hours After Birth

• Call pediatrician to schedule baby's appointment.
• Drink iced orange juice to help restore depleted blood sugar, potassium and fluids.
• Eat food! Chipotle was wonderful :)
• Encourage the uterus to retract.
• Lay on stomach. Place a pillow on the bed and lie on it a few minutes each day to help the uterus contract, expel blood clots and get back to its normal size.
• Massage stomach.
• Nurse! 
• This gets way more painful from first to second kiddo.
• Round Two: This was way more painful than actually giving birth.
• Drink red raspberry tea which will strengthen uterus muscles.
• Walk around to help restore circulation and expel blood clots.

USE POSTPARTUM CARE KIT!

• Start using postpartum care kit 
• Religiously take stool softener and ibuprofen.
• Ibuprofen helps limit the release of prostaglandins.  This is super important!
• Use postpartum care pads!  These things were amazing!

Few Weeks Following Giving Birth

• "Afterbirth pains" are normal
• Continue to encourage the uterus to retract. See above notes.
• GET VICODIN in case of pain.  
• Definitely going to be necessary for round three.
• Exercises to avoid: 
• Complete knee bends
• Leg Lifts
• Sit ups
• Get social security card for baby.
• Get baby on health insurance.
• Have a list of things I would like to have help with around the house and groceries we need for people to help out with.
• Lochia is the bloody discharge that can last up to six weeks.
• Saturating 2 pads hospital size within an hour is too much and call the doctor.
• If bleeding increases you are overdoing it.
• Lovemaking is up to your discretion. Go slow and can wait up to six weeks after postpartum check up to ensure have healed.
• Stay hydrated!
• TAKE IT EASY!
• Use lanolin, ibuprofen (800 mg every four hours) and stool softener (1-2x/day).

Exercises to do the Rest of Life

• Kegels: Helps with bladder control.
• Pelvic Rocks: Especially great for afterbith "pains", backache and strengthening abdominal muscles
• Tailor Sitting: Strengthens core and back.

Giving Birth: Reflections

• Packing List for Birth Center and Hospital

Reflections 

• The Environment
• Could not have done it without Geoffrey's help and the Bradley classes. 
• Dim lighting and soft music helped with relaxing. 
• Using a water bottle with a straw was super helpful.
• For Myself
• Focus, focus, focus on one contraction at a time and controlling my breathing. 
• Keep grunting/yelling/groaning deep in chest. Don't go high pitched.
• The pain prompts you to adjust your position which can help with the alignment of baby.
• Don't panic! 
• It hurts like crazy but was not hell on earth. 
• Bring on the pain because it means my baby will be here soon :) 
• For Us
• If have to give birth in a hospital a doula could be very helpful. 
• Make sure coach is eating too. 
• Both of us needed to be persuaded that giving birth naturally was the best thing for me to do was crucial for me to succeed.
• The biggest concern was doing the best we could to prepare for a natural birth because we were convinced it was the best thing to do and then we were to actively trust God with whatever happened.

Round Two

• No back labor is amazing!!!!!
• Being on knees causes baby to come way faster.
• Dim lights, have music playing and try to keep interruptions to a minimum.
• The two things better about the hospital in contrast to the birth center are that the bed can sit up with the push of a button and the supply of postpartum care products.
• There's a lot of nurses, monitors and changing of rooms at the hospital.

THE WHY'S

• The Midwives
• Believe pregnancy is a natural and normal event. 
• Believe the parents are the best people to care for the baby.
• Are not quick to jump to medication and interventions. 
• Have lower rates of C-sections. 
• Listen to and trust the mother's instincts.
• Constantly check the baby's position from about 30 weeks on and if the baby is not positioned well do all they can to help.
• Have an arsenal of strategies to help you be comfortable and address problems as they come up.
• Are willing to gently stretch you to minimize tearing when giving birth. 
• Will not cut the umbilical cord until it has fully drained to the baby giving it all the blood and nutrients.
• Believe nursing is best and are quick to place baby skin to skin so baby can nurse within a half hour of being born.

• Not the Hospital
• Hospitals are more likely to do interventions.
• Any intervention adds risk.
• The more interventions the more likely you are to have a C-section 
• Babies born by C-section are more likely to experience respiratory complications because birth canal squeezes the fluid out of baby's lungs. This squeezing kick-starts the breathing through the lungs which is critical for the suck-swallow-breathe reflex. 
• Drug interventions can cause breast swelling which can make nursing more of a challenge. 
• Didn't want an epidural.
• A massive needle in my spine scares me.
• The drugs in the epidural cause the baby to be drowsy for a little while once it is born making it harder to nurse.
• Epidurals almost always require pitocin because epidurals slow down the body's natural laboring process.
• Pitocin is way harder on your body than normal contractions. It squeezes from both sides and the top while contractions only squeeze from the sides.
• Without being able to feel what is happening you don't know what pushing correctly feels like and are not able to discern how hard you should push. 
• Convinced feeling how you should push minimizes tearing.
• There's a very small risk of being paralyzed with the epidural. 
• Hospitals hook you up to IVs and monitors which require you to stay in bed.
• Laying on your back with back labor is one of the most painful positions to be in.
• You are not allowed to eat any food.
• Didn't want Baby C in the nursery without our supervision.
• The nurses just took Baby C from us without asking when we checked in to make sure her blood sugar levels were ok.

• The Birth Center
• Significantly cheaper than any hospital. 
• Works with TMC
• The midwives at the birth center can be in touch with the doctors at TMC if any problems and/or concerns arise 
• The hospital is less than five minutes away from the birth center in case medical interventions are necessary. 
• Could snack on food while in labor.
• The privacy and home like setting of the birth center was very comfortable.
• WATER BIRTH was amazing! 
• Not having an IV and not being hooked up to a monitor allowed me to move around to be in the most comfortable position. 
• Baby C never left us after she was born while at the birth center. 
• Got to hold her immediately. 
• Being able to nurse within a half hour with a baby who was completely awake and alert was amazing. 
• The baby checks were not at all intrusive. 

• The Bradley Classes
• Wanted my best friend to be my coach. 
• Equipped my best friend to be my coach!  And he did phenomenal!
• Agreed with their belief that my body was created to give birth. 
• Gave us an arsenol of ideas and suggestions on how to manage pain and have the type of birth we wanted.

Geoffrey's Responsibilities

• Being an advocate for me. 
• Helping with pain management. 
• Making sure I was hydrated. 
• Encouraging me. ("You can always do one", "Take one at a time", etc.)